Changes are underway here

 I will be changing my profile description.  Not today, too tired, but I did want to put it in black and white that I'm going to be doing some things differently.  You see, I've been focusing on others all my life, and not in a good way. I've been looking outside myself for safety, reassurance, validation, acceptance, etc., etc., etc.  It is a behavior I created as a child because I felt invisible.  Now I can see how it has never really served me, at least not like I desired.  So, now my life will unfold in a new way, one that I only have an inkling about now, but it's going to be different.

For instance, just a few days ago, I spoke with my friend about an idea I have.  I received such an unexpected supportive response that I was shocked.  I realized that as a child whenever I shared an idea it was laughed at by those around me.  I came to believe my ideas were laughable, not to be entertained.  I began to see how many dreams I'd had that were abandoned because someone told me they weren't practical or something, but I had later watched as someone else made that same dream a reality.  Now, the creative juices have begun to flow.  All it took was one sincere, knowledgeable person to say, "I think you are underestimating the value of your idea," and I feel like I've turned a corner.  Now, I'm looking forward to more and more inspiration to flow in as I believe in myself and as I stop pouring so much of my energy into the efforts I've made in the past to please people, lying about who I am, trying to provide other people their answers when I don't even have my own, being afraid of the response of others, etc.  That etc. will become even more evident as I become more aware going forward.

I trust that others will find their answers and their way and receive all the help they need, all with no help from me whatsoever.  I'm staying out of everyone's business and getting much more deeply attentive to my own.  For a time, until I can freely give, needing nothing in return,  No reassurance or thanks or credit or prestige. I'm giving God his job back.